This is why I am determined to become a musician

I feel sorry for musicians everywhere. From here until whenever I decide I am bored, I will be trying to learn various instruments. And it will not be pretty.  

I took piano for a number of years from 4^th grade until sometime in middle school when I decided to quit because it conflicted with cheerleading too much. Stupidest decision of my life. I can still read sheet music but it takes me forever. I couldn’t remember how to do a basic chord on the piano. So lately I have been watching YouTube tutorials on how to play stuff. I don’t even remember how to properly annotate things either, so this is an example of my crappy way to remember how to play:

I also have learned like three chords on guitar. So I’m on my way! I know guitar and piano are two different things, but I’m hoping if I can get better at piano, then my wonder musician brother will teach me guitar. And then I can be that person with a guitar that annoys everyone.

Every person I’ve ever spoken to has or has wished to play an instrument at some point. Guys that I talk with want to learn because they want to attract a hottie. They are usually lying if they say any other reason. Girls want to learn to look cool and sexay. Of course there are other reasons, but those are the main two. 

I don’t really know why I want to learn. Maybe because my whole family (minus my mom, who tries so very hard to sing) is musical. Or maybe I’m just being super secretive because I don’t want to say what my reason is. So you can assume it’s because I want to be “that girl” that plays music. Or whatever you want to assume.

I was trying so hard earlier to get this song down that now it hurts to type because my pinky is out of shape and sore. So I can’t really type anything else. So… go brighten your mind and learn an instrument. It’s good for you. And if you know how to play, come teach me so I don’t hurt myself.

This is why college doesn't have to be a waste

I just so happened to be cleaning out old documents in my computer when I stumbled upon this beauty. Before I had to take my leave of absence in college, I was in the middle of a poetry class. It was probably my favorite class because I had a friend (Joshua James Palmer, if you’re reading this) in the class and the world’s best professor (Jenny Brown, who probably is not reading this)(also, I’m not saying that to kiss up, obviously. I didn’t even finish out and will never have another class with her again). One assignment I did was a poem that had to be 100 words long and one single sentence. I thought it was genius. I don’t know if anyone else will agree with me, but here: 

Furiously typing on my keyboard
and staring at the taunting blank page on the computer screen
does not make composing a one hundred word poem very simple
because I crave to have my emotions
and what I deem as brilliant and earth-shattering poetry
reach and grab at a whole new audience
to believe that I am some sort of creative genius
so that they may look at me and understand
that I am a sort of artistic Messiah
here to shatter the world of it’s inevitable monotony
and impassionate wit
and grant redeemable grace to those who wish to believe
in something more than the average words
on a more than average earth.

So that all got me thinking about the classes I didn’t get to finish this past year. This was the only one I truly regret not finishing. Not because I was good at poetry, by any means; but because it was the only class that truly felt liberal-artsy. Everything else felt forced and usual, and to be honest I almost fell asleep in at least half of them. I didn’t need this course for any requirements; I just wanted to take it. And isn’t that what college is supposed to be about?

I really truly wish our societal/economical standards held the same beliefs as the ones in the past, minus the complete boredom that sounds like what living “back then” entails. Not everyone went to college and it was okay. The people that went to college did so because they wanted to learn. I feel like now our youth just feels forced to go so they can get a degree and get a decent paying job. So kids go and take what’s necessary so they can get out. 

Well forget that. If I have the chance, I want to take things I care about. Of course when I get back I’ll probably rush ahead like I was previously doing. But at least for this one moment in time, I care.

(Also, in case this post wasn't light-hearted enough, here's a gif I made)

This is why I need more friends

Disclaimer: Before you start getting all judge-pants on me, I am sure many people can relate to this at some point or another. Also, I wrote this recently at a point of being a mixture of sad, bored, hungry, and tired. I decided to post the following in an effort to say "Lulz, just kidding, if you've been a jerk to me I don't want to be your friend." (But as the loving Catholic I am, I will respect you as a human and love you as a person). 

I have been so boring lately. At everything. I feel like a boring blob. Maybe I’m usually creating conflict or unpopular opinions; I have had none of that lately. Or maybe the fact that I’m a homebody is finally catching up to me. I have beginning inklings of genius ideas, but they’re usually at a point of the day where I’ve taken my loopy meds, and so when I come back to them, they’re really stupid. I’m too embarrassed to even repeat them. One has to do with how the name “Dubstep” was originated. It was completely stupid.

I’m hoping that because I’ve been dull that I’ve at least dusted off a few haterz. I, myself, have unfortunately been on the opposite side lately. Instead of provoking critics, I have been one. Little things that people do annoy the crap out of me. I try to be understanding and loving, like I was raised to be, but I seriously have thought about punching people. 

I have also given thoughtful consideration to just getting to the source and doing away with all forms of my social media. But we can all admit that attempt would be futile especially for someone who has little connection with people outside of social networking. That would be like an alcoholic giving up alcohol without any help; that person would just run back into the arms of anti-sobriety. Maybe once I connect with people sans using the help of the interwebs I can actually have friends. But it’s a vicious cycle. I can’t do that until I give up media, and I won’t give up media until I have an actual life.  It’s as bad as the famous Chicken and Egg debate.

Like an idiot I have tried to solve this problem by using the internet more frequently, or at least joining more sites (Twitter and Tumblr to be exact). That’s just adding fuel to the fire. I realize this as I am typing. Also I just realized what my topic for this post was; and I reiterate how boring I am. Alright, I’m going to go outside and seek human interaction before I just look downright pathetic.