1/24/12

This is why I'm jealous of my brother's genes


I’m a halfie. One of my parents is fully Hispanic, the other one is fully White, as if that wasn’t obvious. My best friend, Maggie, said it best when she stated, “Both of my parents are white, brown-hair, brown-eyed people. There wasn’t much variety in our genes.” Her and her two brothers look pretty similar. With a vast open-field worth of different traits and genes from my mom and dad, there were many choices my DNA could have selected. In terms of shopping, Maggie’s genes had one aisle of the grocery store, whereas my genes had the entire produce and dairy section. There were a lot of possible combinations for my brother, Aaron, and I. I have two other older brothers as well, but they don’t count because one of them has a different mom, and one of them has a different dad. It’s a complicated Brady Bunch-esque story that I’m not in the mood to get into. 

So since my brother was born first he decided to take all of the good genes and leave me with the scraps. I mean, not consciously. He’s a very nice person and would give his shirt off his back to a hobo. Of course, that would mean that he could befriend a hobo, and just at the prospect of that, he would jump at the chance. He’s a nice person and all, but I think he must have known his personality in life, and decided to be greedy while he still had the chance. I picture him frolicking through the open-field worth of genes that I mentioned earlier and snatching up all of the good genes as such:


Aaron’s great, and one of my best friends, and whatever, but he got beautiful thick wavy hair and already wonderfully shaped eye-brows. He also has naturally tan-ish skin and a clear complexion. What did I get? A steaming pile of crap! Now, that’s not entirely true, but I need to exaggerate for the sake of good reading. But I got limp boring thin hair and the thick-Mexican eyebrows. If I had Aaron’s eyebrows it would take me, probably, 5 minutes (Max!) to pluck my eyebrows. But no, my stubborn eyebrows take for-EVER and a day to pluck. I also look like a nasty vampire from Twilight because I’m so pale and I tend to break out more than anyone. 

I shouldn’t complain, I’m still comfortable with my looks. I just think my brother knew what he was doing when he was born first. He’s 17 months older than I am. We’re pretty much twins, except for you know, he took up all the good genes. Anyways, his 21st birthday is today and so he’s probably not going to read this on account that he’ll be shwasted all day. This is half of his birffday present, the other half is in the form of the Mighty Morphin Power-Rangers DVD. Yeah, I know, I win best sister ever award.


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