This is why I'm weird but there's a picture of kittens

I feel bad for you if you’re my friend. Don’t get me wrong; I’m a great person to have as a friend. I listen to you. I try and give you advice. I serenade you. Maybe not well, but it is still done. But underneath that top layer of love and affection, there’s another level of pure emotion. Bottom line: I get super emotional about little stuff and my friends have to deal with it.

And lately, it’s been awful. So awful, half of my friends probably haven’t even experienced it. “Huh?” you’re saying. Yeah, I’ve been keeping most of my life on the down-low (I know, 2002 was 11 years ago). When asked what’s new with me, I change the subject. I dread the thought of not having anything new with me. And then I have a panic attack internally and there is all sorts of screaming internally and then sometimes externally. Is my life really so dull to where there is literally nothing new with me?

This part of my life has probably shown on my blog if you frequent it. I haven’t had anything emotional or new to write because there has been absolutely nothing. That’s so sad. We live in a great time where you can constantly do and make things. And I am doing and making nothing. Which leads me to get angry when someone doesn’t text me back (or whatever) after three seconds. That’s what my friends have probably noticed. I can’t help it. When a part of me is so held back and unable to be free on my own volition, I get sick of myself.

I need other people to talk to so I don’t go insane. But what am I to say?! I realize this all probably sounds like white people problems but there is something to the fact that you should always be doing something. Right now I feel like a muscle that hasn’t been used in a long time. When you finally stretch it out, it’s going to hurt. I don’t want that hurt. But I know eventually I have to do it.

So I’m asking you, my dear loved ones, give me ideas! Help me get out of this weird funky thing. I don’t know how. But if you see me or hear from me, help me do something with my life.

Wow I sound like I’m having some sort of quarter life crisis at 21 and this is embarrassing/depressing. To make this less depressing, here is a silly picture I found on the internet:

Go do something with your life. Take it from an underused muscle (I know, I know).